You do it to yourself

7 Apr

If I drink there is the potential I’ll get drunk and when I get tipsy I become a compulsive liar. I’m not proud of it, it’s just what happens. The only way I can describe it is that it’s a bit like Tourette’s except not as funny.

I don’t even tell good lies. In fact for the most part they tend to reflect badly on me. Whilst the kids with smarts would choose to embellish to make themselves appear more grandiose and attractive to the opposite sex I prefer to go down the route of slandering myself with tales of an outlandish nature. Now don’t go thinking this is some form of self-deprecation on my part because trust me, it isn’t. I just spout absolute bollocks in what I can only assume if my idea of hilarity except no-one else is part of the joke and even if they were, they wouldn’t think I was witty – they’d think I was an idiot.

Until I have a lobotomy to change this behaviour I must resign myself to the possibility that should a vicious rumour ever get out about me I am almost certain that in a boozy moment of madness I was the one who started it. I honestly can’t express how frustrating I get with myself over such counterproductive conduct. This is why dear friends never believe a word I say…

…unless its regarding music. On this matter you can be certain of my speech. This tune has been out for a while but it is a blinder and has been looped all day. Check out the rest of Ghostpoet’s ‘Peanut Butter Blues & Melancholy Jam’ for one of my fave records this year…

Ghostpoet – ‘Cash And Carry Me Home’

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